Talking with family about college costs

This page helps you plan a clear conversation with family about paying for college: what to bring, what to ask and how to write down what you agree. Talking before the aid offers arrive makes them much easier to read together.

Before the conversation

Gather the facts first. Look up each school's cost of attendance and run its net price calculator, which most colleges post on their websites. Bring your own savings, any work earnings you expect and any scholarships you already have.

Decide what you want to learn from the talk. Common questions are how much the family can put toward each year, whether anyone is willing to borrow, and whether help will change if a sibling also starts college.

Filling out the FAFSA together

If you are a dependent student, a parent is a contributor on the FAFSA and needs their own StudentAid.gov account. Each contributor gives consent for the IRS to share tax information with the form. Without that consent, the form cannot produce a full result.

Pick a time to sit down together with tax returns and account information on hand. A parent who is uneasy about sharing financial information may feel better after seeing exactly what the form asks and who reads it.

To bring to the talk

• Each school's cost of attendance
• Results from each net price calculator
• Your own savings and expected earnings
• A list of questions you want answered

Reading the offers as a family

Aid offers separate grants and scholarships, which do not need to be repaid, from loans and work-study. Sort each offer into those groups, and subtract only the grants and scholarships from the cost to see what remains. Then talk about how the family would cover that remainder in every year of the degree, including the first.

Parent PLUS loans are borrowed in the parent's name, and the parent is responsible for repaying them. Make sure everyone understands whose name each loan carries before anyone signs.

Keeping the plan clear

Write down what each person agreed to pay, including amounts per term and any conditions. Revisit it each spring when the new FAFSA results and aid offers come in. Family finances change, and a written plan makes it easier to adjust without arguments.

Once you are enrolled, privacy laws limit what the school can share with parents. If you want a parent to talk with the aid office or the bursar on your behalf, ask whether the school has a release form.